last day of 2010

thank you
whoever
that
made my 2010 awesome

i love everyone of you

2011
is greater ahead

:)

I failed to cheer myself up.

I am sorry.

grrr

I am frustrated.

MAGGI TING!
YOU HAVE BEEN SLACKING FOR WHOLE DAY
PLEASE DO SOMETHING PRODUCTIVE TONIGHT
IF NOT HOW ARE YOU GOING TO SIT FOR YOUR EXAMS
*slap slap*

请自备自知之明

当我开始对你诸多借口
当我开始对你冷漠
当我开始不回你的信息
当我开始不借你电话

我希望你明白
我已经不想再跟你说话了
我已经找不到理由去推辞
所以我选择了逃避
什么都看不见
什么都听不到

我累了
你不觉得累吗

笨吗

如果
我是真的真的真的真的
要
非常非常非常非常非常地
努力
才可以才可以才可以才可以
得到我想要的

那我认命了

因为全部的东西都不可能属于我的了
:(

都没了

一直以来我都在自欺欺人吗
一直以来我都活在虚假里吗
一直以来我都不是清醒的吗
一直以来我的感觉都是错的吗
一直以来我都没忘记过她吗

我以为我忘了
我以为我放下了
我以为我不会再有遐想
我以为我看开了
我以为我是以朋友的心对他
我以为

我可以很确定的告诉自己
我已经忘记他了
只是那一天有那么一刻
那个感觉回来了
熟悉的感觉

我又乱了

微笑

我永远都不会忘记那一刻

你的微笑
我的世界

-

强颜欢笑
真的很难

尤其是在你
眼角里还有泪的时候


我真的是
跳进黄河也洗不清了
怎么解释啦!

x happy

I am not happy.

only if I could change my mindset.
only if things don't happen before my M.
only if I could stop thinking.

I start getting disappointed
day by day.
by the way you treated me
well, maybe I don't actually deserve
but I think I AM.
yes, this is muka yang tebal.
and that's me!

;)

I am pretty sure that

the time that you spent on talking to me
is
far more
longer than
the time that you spent on talking to your gf

如果我要把你放进我的故事里呢

你出现在我的生命里有三个月了

三个月 = 12个星期
12个星期 x 7 = 84天
除去一个月假期 = 84 - 30 = 54天
除去周末 = 44 - 14 = 40天

那40天里
我天天看到你
天天与你四目交接

从与你擦肩而过
从与你素面为谋
到终于看到你
到与你四目交接
一直到同一个lecture
到同一个workshop
到同一个practical
到同一组
到从你手中接过一张纸
到跟你说第一句话

叫我不相信缘份
叫我不相信命运
我想
很
难

我开始
迷失自己

我的感性告诉我
我想把你放进我的故事里

我的理性却告诉我
你并不属于我的故事
你只是个过客

该骂

又一次

我的心
倾于陌生人

每天都见到面
却又不知道对方是谁

每天四目交接
却又不知道对方在想什么

算了吧

我不知道
这是第几次告诉自己
算了吧

算了吧
真的算了吧
不要再多想了

算了吧

i need

sometimes
i just need a word
to assure my existence

is it difficult?

:D

this is the first time
I found him lovely.

internet is back!

寿辰

我已经忘记了
生日的感觉

问题

有一个问题
非常严重
我找不到方法解决

我想
我的脑
是被烧坏了吧

hug

对于
你的拥抱
我已经
没有感觉了

无言

一个人的时候
最容易胡思乱想

oops.

my mind messed up again.

I am surrounded by friends who have couple.
I saw immature relationship - high school puppy love.
I saw long distance relationship - you are there I am here miles apart.
I saw different culture relationship - you speak cantonese I speak Mandarin.
I saw slowly developed relationship - friends for a long time and get together.
I saw long and stable relationship - got together long time ago.
I saw serious and after deep thought relationship - think about it for years and finally.

I heard a voice telling me that,
Maggi, look at them, and learn. see how they get along with each other, see how the problems come out and see how they solve it. learn and you will gain.


I will never ever complain that why I haven't get a bf anymore.
because I know, I am not ready for a relationship yet.
so God told me, wait patiently, best is yet to come.
I love you, my Heavenly Father.

偶尔

在我有空的时候
偶尔我会想起你

想起我们四目交接的时候
想起我们相遇的时候
想起我们每一天都在同样的地点相见

我希望这是缘分

但是我们还会不会见面
却还是个未知数


很想知道
你想我吗
你还记得我吗

if you think I am fine, then you are wrong.

:)

I was studying

and

I heard my mind singing


You are my God, the great I am
and You are the rock on which I stand
You reign
You reign O'Lord
You reign
You reign

not right

I know I shouldn't feel and think this way.
but you're constantly disappointing me.
I had enough of it.
I need you and you are not here.
so, when you need me, I won't be there anymore.

this is a revenge.
because I am a girl. revengeful girl.


I am heart-broken.

so.

I won't get any call from you anymore?

I do miss you sometimes.

time

anything bad can happen anytime,
but not the week before period.
It will only make things worse!

I am sick, physically, physiologically, and psychologically.
I need time.



..to recover

oh well

my mind has been messed up.
I feel tired.

and helpless.


I shouldn't have say yes when you said you gonna come over just before my exam.
I was wrong, but it is truth.

I shouldn't have say yes, I will go for you when you asked me to go over during winter break.
I was wrong, but it can't change anymore.

I just realized that how wrong I was.
but what to do.


You gonna come over in 2 weeks time.
which is the period that I will totally f*ck up or whatever.
That will be the time that I will not be myself.
That will be lifeless.
That will be scary.
That will not be anything that you can expect!
and I am scared to show you that,
THAT.IS.ME.

hurt

你知不知道 当你说你不会痛的时候 我的心有多痛

j

glad

I see the return.
I love you guys.

tapi saya ni stressed sangat. =/

lost

我迷失了方向

因善得恶?

好心会被人利用

或许有时候
你会觉得别人在利用你对他的好
但是 你有没有发现
或许他并没有这种想法
只是在需要帮助的时候
想到了你

乐观的想想吧


但有时候也请你尊重一下我

号码

52637

这一切都结束了

他

我感觉到我们之间微妙的怪气氛

是我多虑吗

我想知道你的感觉


四目交接的时候
你有什么感觉
聊天的时候
你又是怎么样的感觉

友情

一段真正的友情
对我而言
最主要的基本条件是

记住对方的生日


你知道我有多失望吗
当你说你不知道我的生日的时候
我相信
很多对我而言是非常重要的朋友
都不记得我的生日
我真的希望
你们不要再让我失望
因为我付出得够多了
虽然我并没有要求回报
但是我还是希望会有回报
你们明白吗

=/

I really hate skype. shit.

无助

这是一种感觉

在别人需要你的时候你一定会第一时间帮忙
在你需要帮助的时候你永远都不会得到第一时间的帮助


又再一次
我觉得我又败在chemistry里
*心情不好 只好睡觉

thank you

'overcome the fear and let God pour His abundant blessings unto you..'
'because u always think you cant..but honestly i feel u r far more capable than wat u think'
'evil thoughts ruin human beings,maggi...pastor rob just preached about that yday'
'when you have something to overcome,dont look at yourself..try look at others..how they overcome it..why they are able to do it but not you?'
'God created all of us in His image..if he/she can, then you can also..'
'we are all equally the same..dont you agree with me? =]]'

hey guy, thank you so much.
and I appreciate it.

sometimes

sometimes, it does hurt a lot.
It is really bad that when
you treated someone really good
and told someone everything about yourself
but you get nothing from them.
I need feedback too.

sometimes, betrayal in friendship hurts a lot more than the betrayal in love.
I guess, it always does.

='(

I am so tired.
I am exhausted.
I need to rest.

but time doesn't allow.

牵

才发现
牵我手的人再也不是你

I learnt

to praise and thank God for whatever thing that He had done.

I thank God for the bunch of friends, who helped me a lot and accompany me all the way through.
I thank God for the easter break where I can rest and relax after 5 weeks of hectic uni life.

I have a lot to thank, but the most importantly is,

I thank God that He is always there with me, and never ever will abandon me.
=)

;)

ok la, I lied to you again.

误会

eh, maggi ah.
干嘛
... ... ... ...






我在假期了.


你知道吗
有那么一刻
我差点又爱上你

警戒

告诉自己
不要再在意一些不值得去在意的事情了

清醒一点吧
虽然知道自己还是喜欢他
但至少不要越陷越深

烦

一个月一次
不过分吧
但一次一个星期
未免太夸张了吧

我很烦
因为我的lab report
我绞尽脑汁
但是我还是不知道我该写什么
老实说
我在等
等着某人愿意帮我

但现在
我看见的只是
我们之间友情的脆弱

为什么我还是抓住不放?

明明可以转身就走
明明可以不用回头
明明可以置之不理

算了

你曾经让我失望过
我已经不再计较
但这一次
我很难原谅你了
或许你又有事情瞒着我也说不定

哭

一直到现在
我才发现
当我真正面对自己的弱点时
我是这么的害怕

我哭了
流泪了

但我终于对自己坦诚了
你让我更诚实的面对自己


This is what I wanted for so long.
Thank you very much,,,

=(

我宁愿你把事实告诉我
也不愿让你隐瞒我 等待我自己去发现

朋友不是这样的

家丑

...并不想外扬

重男轻女
我受够了
身在这个家里
只要你怀有一技在身
而其一技为忍耐
你就可以生存

我真的很想大声跟你说
我讨厌你重男轻女
你未免也太明显了吧
但是 你是我的长辈
我还是对你持有尊重


我真的很佩服我的外婆可以忍耐你这么久